Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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