Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
