Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
