Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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