Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
