We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
