im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
