i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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