Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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