i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
