i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
