So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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