Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
