Soap is not a condiment
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
