We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
