no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
God, I missed his penis.
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