waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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