you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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