I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
