your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
