if i can run in heels then i can drive
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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