i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
