Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
