whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
