She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
