Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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