she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
