why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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