I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
