Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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