He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
