i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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