This house was built for laser tag.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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