i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
