What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
