before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
