I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
