I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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