Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize