i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
