I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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