we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize