I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
