I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize