I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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