everyone is single if you try hard enough
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
