It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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