we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
