What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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