my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
