She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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