her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
