Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
