whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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