cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
