She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
