So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i think i have two assholes
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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