This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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