I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
