Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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