We need to rekindle our bromance
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
whose parrot is this?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
