I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
