My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
