What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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