Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
