I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
someone owes me an orgasm
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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