Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
